


My neighbour Shizuo-san

by chatskyyy



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: But it's funny, Gen, Humor, I hope, M/M, POV First Person, Poor Mikado, There's just a little shizaya actually, neighborhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23488156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chatskyyy/pseuds/chatskyyy
Summary: How to piss off your neighbour: the manual from Heiwajima Shizuo. Or what is it like living in the same house with The Monster of Ikebukuro.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Life/Ryuugamine Mikado
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	My neighbour Shizuo-san

I moved here at the beginning of the new school year. The apartments here are inexpensive, probably due to the fact that the house isn't very new, but I don't need much. Even if it small, a bit dilapidated, but it's comfortable enough, and the neighbors are quiet and friendly.

Except one.

Heiwajima Shizuo lives with me on the same landing. The Monster of Ikebukuro, fortissimo, that-guy-in-the-bartender-form, call it whatever you want. However, the most suitable nickname for him, in my opinion, is _just a terrible neighbor_. Don't get it wrong, I respect Shizuo-san, but living in front of his apartment is not for the faint-hearted. Probably the fact that our entryway, the floor above and the floor below was empty is because of him - everyone moved of harm's way. Only I'm so miserable. Oh, if I'd know in advance! Of course, I want to move, too, but the accommodation was paid for three months in advance, and I wouldn't really like to bring the hostess inconvenience, re-drag my things into a new apartment and remember the new way to school. _“Well, I can stand it, there's just three months,”_ I thought at the beginning.

Now I'm starting to doubt it.

Every day, _absolutely_ every day from Shizuo-san’s apartment there're the sounds of breaking dishes and the collapse of walls, furniture, doors, windows — everything that he can get when he's mad, and also there're a lot of fiercely shouts and roars. The staircase all stank of tobacco (and why can he break his apartment, but not smoke in it?), the railing are curved at the most intricate and interesting angles (sometimes it seems to me that they form some figures, but it must be an affect of the smell of cigarettes), and in the walls there're cracks (I hope when an earthquake will happen, the house will collapse, and I'll get rid of this torment)!

The door installers became my best friends, because Shizuo-san breaks his front door every week, and he asks me to meet people who would change it, because he's at work during all day and I just come in the convenient time. Despite his character, he realizes that he brings inconvenience to others, and even apologizes for his behavior when we see each other. Perhaps that’s why I agree to meet door people every time he ask to. Well, if he isn't angry, he's a very good person and a pleasant company (I still try to avoid unnecessary contacts with him, though.)

One day, I was late returning from the school and, rising to the floor, saw Izaya-san frowning with concentration, but giggling viciously (a creepy sight), breaking the lock on the door of Shizuo-san's apartament. It’s even hard for me to imagine how much _courage_ this person has, since he decided on such an act, especially considering that the blond man was currently in the apartment, although he was probably asleep. Noticing me, Orihara grinned mysteriously and put his index finger to his lips, slyly squinting his eyes. It looked intimidating, so I quickly realized that it’s better not to get into this business and retired to my apartment. I was a bit afraid of both of them, so getting in between them wasn't a good idea at all.

The next morning, I (and most likely the whole house) was awakened by the wild loud cry of Shizuo-san and the next things were clatter, growl and the sound of something breaking. I think it's not hard to guess whose name he screamed. And how did he know? Oh, of course. After all, no one except Izaya-san would dare to harm The Monster of Ikebukuro, and he perfectly understood this. I don’t even want to think about what Oriihara did in the blond’s apartment.

But one situation was forever imprinted in my mind and completely turned around the worldview. My already rather shaky psyche succumbed to such violence, and, _God_ , it would be better if I forgot it.

Once a neighbor from above asked to look after her child in the some weekend. She was a quite windy girl of about twenty-five years old, so I wasn't surprised at her ask. Out of kindness, I agreed. So, in the evening, having successfully completed the task and even being in a rather high spirits from spending time with a nice kid, I was going down the stairs and almost stepping on my floor, and then saw _this_. This scene still stands before my eyes, so I, no matter how I'd like to avoid it, remember everything in quite some detail.

Shizuo-san, clutching Izaya-san against the wall, unsuccessfully tried to cope with the lock and the keys without breaking a - Jesus Christ - passionate kiss. While I was in shock trying to comprehend what was happening, Izaya-san, tearing Heiwajima away from himself, opened the door himself, and then they disappeared from my eyes. But not from _ears_. Until late at night, I stared at the ceiling with an empty eyes, being an involuntary listener of the accompaniment of their passion.

Why me?

Am I deserved this?

It ended in the morning, when Izaya-san, laughing out loud and teasing Heiwajima with a stupid and completely inappropriate nickname as usual, ran out of the ex-baman's apartment under his angry roar. Then I heard the sound of breaking glass of, apparently, Shizuo-san's door and I, already completely squeezed out and spitting on everything, was able to fall asleep safely. I didn’t even want to think about their relationship and the reasons of it, I just wanted to get some sleep, _please_.

And to move out of here, preferably. No, not preferably, now I was just _have to_.

* * *

Luck was on my side. "Carried away" by such a life, I didn't notice how fast three months passed and the time for the move came. Finally, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

This time I chose a better apartment that was closer to the center. The house was much cleaner and more spacious, there was even an elevator and someone like concierge, wow. And no crazy neighbors for you. It was worth moving right away: here it is, the dream house!

It was a big load off my mind. Now I wanted to smile to everyone, so, enjoying my new life, I walked into the elevator with a little spring in my step, a little awkwardly getting my suitcase into elevator cabin, but even this couldn't bring me down-

“Yo, Ryuugamine-kun! Are you moving? Ha-ha, and I have one of my apartments here, what a lucky coincidence! It’s always wonderful when your neighbors are people you already know, isn't it?”

In front of me with a friendly smile and a affably wave of his hand was Orihara Izaya.

What was this large sin that I have done, dear God?


End file.
